Let's be honest—choosing a real estate agent can feel a lot like online dating. You're scrolling through profiles, reading reviews, trying to figure out who's going to be your perfect match for one of the biggest financial decisions of your life. But what actually matters when you're making that choice?
The National Association of Realtors recently released its 2025 consumer survey, and the results might surprise you. Spoiler alert: it's not just about picking someone you'd want to grab coffee with.
What Buyers and Sellers Actually Care About
HouseJet passed along NAR's latest data, and it's very clear that home buyers and sellers have pretty specific priorities when it comes to choosing an agent. Here's what rises to the top:
Reputation and referrals take the crown. The survey shows that personal recommendations from friends, family, and colleagues remain the number one way people find their agent. Nothing beats hearing your coworker say, "Sarah helped us find our dream home, and she made the whole process so easy." That word-of-mouth credibility carries serious weight.
Local market knowledge is non-negotiable. Buyers and sellers want someone who knows the neighborhood inside and out. Which streets flood during heavy rain? Where are the best schools? What's that new development going to do to property values? Generic market statistics don't cut it—people want someone who can tell them which coffee shop the locals actually go to and why homes on the east side of town sell faster.
Responsiveness matters more than ever. We live in a world of instant everything. When someone texts their agent about a property they saw online, they don't want to wait until "business hours" for a response. The survey confirms that agents who communicate quickly and consistently through their clients' preferred channels—whether that's text, email, or phone—build stronger relationships and close more deals.
Marketing firepower for sellers. If you're selling your home, you want an agent who won't just stick a sign in the yard and hope for the best. Professional photography, virtual tours, strategic online advertising, and a solid social media presence all rank high on sellers' wish lists. Your home deserves more than a few grainy iPhone photos on Zillow.
Negotiation skills that actually deliver. This one's huge. Buyers want someone who can get them the best possible price and terms. Sellers want top dollar with the fewest headaches. The agents who stand out are the ones who can demonstrate their track record—not just talk a good game.
Professional credentials and experience. Designations like ABR (Accredited Buyer's Representative) or CRS (Certified Residential Specialist) signal that an agent has invested in additional training. While these letters after a name aren't everything, they do show commitment to the profession beyond the basics.
The Friendship Trap
Here's where things get interesting—and where a lot of people make expensive mistakes.
"I see this happen all the time," says Mike Oddo, CEO of HouseJet. "Someone hires their neighbor, their kid's soccer coach, or their college roommate to handle their real estate transaction because they're nice people and they like them. And look, I get it—you want to work with someone you trust. But liking someone at a backyard barbecue and trusting them to negotiate a $400,000 purchase are two completely different things. That friendship can turn into a very costly relationship when your 'friend' doesn't have the skills, experience, or market knowledge to protect your interests. You might save an awkward conversation upfront, but you could lose tens of thousands of dollars because you were too uncomfortable to ask tough questions about their track record."
That hits hard, but it's true. Your real estate agent needs to be competent first, friendly second. The transaction itself is too important to let personal relationships cloud your judgment.
So what should you do instead? HouseJet recommends doing your homework before you commit to anyone—even if your mom swears her hairdresser's daughter "just got her license and is super motivated."
"Use the tools available to you," Oddo explains. "Google specific questions about what to look for in an agent. Use AI to help you create a list of interview questions. Research what services agents should be providing. Understand what commission rates are standard in your market and what you're actually getting for that money. The more informed you are going into those conversations, the better equipped you'll be to separate the professionals from the people who are just friendly."
The Three Biggest Complaints About Real Estate Agents
The NAR survey also reveals what makes clients want to pull their hair out when working with agents. These three complaints top the list year after year:
Poor communication is complaint number one. Nothing frustrates buyers and sellers more than feeling left in the dark. Unreturned calls, vague updates, or having to chase down your agent for basic information create anxiety during what's already a stressful process. When you don't hear from your agent, your brain fills in the blanks—usually with worst-case scenarios.
Pushy sales tactics come in second. Nobody likes feeling pressured to make an offer on a house that doesn't feel right or to accept terms that don't work for them. The agents who rack up complaints are the ones who seem more interested in getting to closing—and their commission—than in finding the right fit for their client. Aggressive tactics might work in some industries, but in real estate, they just create resentment and regret.
Lack of market knowledge rounds out the top three. When clients know more about the local market than their agent does, that's a problem. If you've done your Zillow research and your agent can't explain why a property is priced the way it is, or seems surprised by information you found in a five-minute Google search, that's a red flag. Clients expect their agent to be the expert in the room.
Do Your Research Before You Hire
The bottom line, according to HouseJet, is this: hiring a real estate agent is a business decision, not a popularity contest. Yes, you'll be spending time with this person, so you need to get along. But compatibility shouldn't trump competence.
Before you sign anything, ask hard questions. How many transactions have they closed in the past year? What's their average list-to-sale price ratio? How do they plan to market your home, or what's their strategy for finding you the right property? What happens if you're not happy with their service?
A professional agent won't be offended by these questions—they'll expect them. The ones who get defensive or dismissive when you ask about their track record? That tells you everything you need to know.
Use resources like Google and AI platforms to educate yourself about the home-buying or selling process before you ever meet with an agent. Understand the basics of market analysis, what comparable sales mean, how inspections work, and what standard contract terms look like in your state. The more you know, the better you can evaluate whether an agent is actually serving your needs.
The real estate market keeps changing, but one thing stays constant: the best agents combine deep market expertise, strong communication skills, proven negotiation ability, and genuine care for their clients' goals. They're not just friendly—they're fiercely competent advocates who earn their commission by protecting your interests every step of the way.
That's worth so much more than just liking someone's personality.
